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3 Hours Ago
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I DONT FEEL YALL BUT I FEEL MYSELF
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,048
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: im gush
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haven't u cried about internet? ELEZZZARK MEGATHREAD LET'S KEEP 2K10 GOING STRONG
hello elezzzark and ytmnsfw! chances are if you're a male who i dislike, you thought this thread was about you. sorry to disappoint barrypothead/clay/stomplebane/reno --
you're probably next, but this thread is about the 1 and only
deafman the revenant and his descent into insanity.
table of contents:
this could have been avoided, elezark. if you hadn't fallen in love with me like every other faggot on the internet, this thread could've been avoided. if you hadn't attempted to threaten me with your knowledge of my personal information, this thread wouldn't have been created. you fucked up, and this thread is the repercussion. enjoy.
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irc.efnet.nl /query gush
Quote:
Originally Posted by cum sock
behold the goddess troll
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3 Hours Ago
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I DONT FEEL YALL BUT I FEEL MYSELF
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,048
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: im gush
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it began like any internet friendship does: a hello, a reply, and smalltalk ensues. to me, the friendship between elezark and i never went beyond that. generally on the internet, i don't bother humoring people who i'm uninterested in. elezark was an exception.
because of elezark's inability to speak proper english, his posts are a fucking goldmine. i've laughed out loud at elezark's posts more than the rest of the forum's put together. on top of that, from his idle chat with me, he appeared to be a genuinely good guy - a deaf college graduate pursuing a career in computer graphics. i don't gain any amusement out of harassing people who don't deserve to be harassed, and at the time, elz didn't deserve harassment. he was just being friendly, and i was ok with that.
as the weeks progressed, though, so did his friendliness. there were two red flags that i entirely disregarded at the time. the first was that every message he sent would include a "<3" somewhere in it, but that isn't so weird, right? girls use it all the time, right?
the 2nd red flag that annoyed me but that i disregarded was his obsessive attitude towards my replies. if i didn't reply within an hour or two, i'd be bombarded by messages like this:
little did i know that these little habits would show elezark's true colors -- a full blown internet stalker.
don't believe it, either? keep reading, i'm pretty sure you'll agree with me by the end of this thread.
__________________
irc.efnet.nl /query gush
Quote:
Originally Posted by cum sock
behold the goddess troll
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3 Hours Ago
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I DONT FEEL YALL BUT I FEEL MYSELF
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,048
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: im gush
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time went by and elezark grew more and more transfixed on talking to me. instead of asking to chat, he began to demand it, becoming belligerent when i was away and not replying immediately.
at this point, he was becoming as overwhelming as barrypothead. i began to take the approach i did with him and ignored him for days at a time and replying slower and slower, resulting in him sending several messages at a time for each one i ignored.
and then came the girlfriend fiasco.
shortly after i told elezark that i didn't actually have a boyfriend, he suddenly started talking about his supposed girlfriend who he'd been dating for a year. strangely, though, his girlfriend had never been the topic of conversation during the weeks prior to that, despite him telling me literally every other aspect of his life, including his full name and university.
what was even weirder, though, was the fact that two days after her creation, she broke his heart.
once he announced their separation, he also had an excuse for not having pictures of them together as a couple:
this is just the prelude for one of the weirdest events on the internet i've ever experienced. scroll down yall let's get this shit started holla
__________________
irc.efnet.nl /query gush
Quote:
Originally Posted by cum sock
behold the goddess troll
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3 Hours Ago
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I DONT FEEL YALL BUT I FEEL MYSELF
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,048
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: im gush
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elezark and i's friendship remained strained and one-sided for awhile. he continued to ask about my life, and i continued to give him insignificant details. everything changed, though, once he found out about our shared disability.
soulmates by deaf reason
i had no idea how to reply to that, so i let a few impatient days go by before replying:
after spamming my profile and inbox, elezark took matters into his own hands and followed me onto irc and approached me like a mature adult. the conversation i'm about to show you has enough elezark-isms for the next century.
immediately after this conversation, elezark freaked out and began to contact everyone he could to talk about me and how he supposedly had my house address bad move, hombre.
during that time, clay took the liberty to log into his accounts and erase his inboxes, which resulted in this:
your fatal mistake here, ivan pérez montaño of guadalajara, mexico, is threatening someone who has your personal information with theirs. if you hadn't done that, this thread would've been about barrypothead, not you. i'd suggest you learn how to talk to women and how to get their attention in other ways, but you're deaf lmao
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irc.efnet.nl /query gush
Quote:
Originally Posted by cum sock
behold the goddess troll
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3 Hours Ago
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Status: Online
Posts: 22
Join Date: May 2002
Location: motel 6
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oh dear
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3 Hours Ago
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internet super hero
Status: Online
Posts: 25,222
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: in my sister
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usually I get raged when someone calls their thread a megathread when it doesnt deserve it but this is certainly a megathread this shit is all hilarious fantastic work gush
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2 Hours Ago
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The last American Left
Status: Offline
Posts: 856
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Riverside, Ca.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gush
hello elezzzark and ytmnsfw! chances are if you're a male who i dislike, you thought this thread was about you. sorry to disappoint barrypothead/clay/stomplebane/reno --
you're probably next, but this thread is about the 1 and only
deafman the revenant and his descent into insanity.
table of contents:
this could have been avoided, elezark. if you hadn't fallen in love with me like every other faggot on the internet, this thread could've been avoided. if you hadn't attempted to threaten me with your knowledge of my personal information, this thread wouldn't have been created. you fucked up, and this thread is the repercussion. enjoy. |
...falling in love over the internet is like sleeping with your sister, sure she has a sack full of goodies and looks good in a tight skirt, but its just wrong...
__________________
Death is but a door, time a window, I'll be back
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubycalaber
hey kackerot you listen here putting heads on Lost characters is my bit not yours punk and yeh roy4l blood slamming
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Quote:
Originally Posted by m0nde
cancerrot is the most developed and awesome trolling alt i've ever seen other than cracker
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2 Hours Ago
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internet super hero
Status: Online
Posts: 25,222
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: in my sister
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well, kackerot my good man, I've done one and want to do the other so...
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2 Hours Ago
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Status: Online
Posts: 22
Join Date: May 2002
Location: motel 6
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what
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2 Hours Ago
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internet super hero
Status: Online
Posts: 25,222
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: in my sister
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I'm either saying I've fallen in love over the internet and want to fuck my sister or I've fucked my sister and want to fall in love over the internet guess which
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2 Hours Ago
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The last American Left
Status: Offline
Posts: 856
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Riverside, Ca.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubycalaber
I'm either saying I've fallen in love over the internet and want to fuck my sister or I've fucked my sister and want to fall in love over the internet guess which
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__________________
Death is but a door, time a window, I'll be back
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubycalaber
hey kackerot you listen here putting heads on Lost characters is my bit not yours punk and yeh roy4l blood slamming
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Quote:
Originally Posted by m0nde
cancerrot is the most developed and awesome trolling alt i've ever seen other than cracker
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2 Hours Ago
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goodone hall of famer
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,340
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: this post
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a+ will read again
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkpuppies
saving picures and mp3s into a zip does not just happen on it's own
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by legendary haiku writer papabear
mottledboar is bear
he eats honey sometimes, yes
i am the papa
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2 Hours Ago
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The last American Left
Status: Offline
Posts: 856
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Riverside, Ca.
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...is it me or does elezk have a really small p p...
__________________
Death is but a door, time a window, I'll be back
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubycalaber
hey kackerot you listen here putting heads on Lost characters is my bit not yours punk and yeh roy4l blood slamming
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Quote:
Originally Posted by m0nde
cancerrot is the most developed and awesome trolling alt i've ever seen other than cracker
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2 Hours Ago
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goodone hall of famer
Status: Offline
Posts: 1,340
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: this post
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we are soulmates, is no problem
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkpuppies
saving picures and mp3s into a zip does not just happen on it's own
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by legendary haiku writer papabear
mottledboar is bear
he eats honey sometimes, yes
i am the papa
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2 Hours Ago
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ca ca ca coolio
Status: Offline
Posts: 699
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Posts: 17,723
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everyone on the internet has an ugly dick apparently
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2 Hours Ago
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you're just some faggy girl and i need a lover with soul power
Status: Online
Posts: 517
Join Date: May 2008
Location: in walked luck and you looked in time
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a goth gamer can dream
__________________
It was back in the summer of 2020. Eurasia found itself mired in a pointless war of attrition, and I'd become fed up with the vindictive isolationist policy that Japan enjoyed while it sat in the middle of the precarious balance and safely watched from afar
Dalliance. |
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2 Hours Ago
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you're just some faggy girl and i need a lover with soul power
Status: Online
Posts: 517
Join Date: May 2008
Location: in walked luck and you looked in time
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the continued assurance that you don't want to start talking to gush and if you already have that you live in total paranoia about what she has recorded and what she will, and are gripped by the total fear that she'll begin working her psychology on you to ensnare you into being the next victim of a megathread is too long of tag. The maximum limit is 25 characters.
__________________
It was back in the summer of 2020. Eurasia found itself mired in a pointless war of attrition, and I'd become fed up with the vindictive isolationist policy that Japan enjoyed while it sat in the middle of the precarious balance and safely watched from afar
Dalliance. |
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